jynxed's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Aunts in my Pants "By God, I wear the pants in this house. So, My sister and my two nieces, Morgan (4) and Melanie (2), have been visiting us the past couple weeks. We've had a lot of fun, but things have been a little stressful. Our house just isn't big enough for two families and a dog. Cooper kept trying to hump Morgan, which led to all sorts of embarrassing questions. "Why he doing that?" Morgan asked. Well, I knew it wasn't quite time for the whole "When a dog and a little girl really really love each other..." discussion, and seeing as that sort of thing is really only legal in Arkansas and Washington DC, I chose to draw upon a section I read in "Golden Retrievers for Dummies." I explained to her that "mounting," as it is more appropriately termed ("humping" sounds so...I don't know...sexy?), is a display of dominance. "Cooper thinks he's the boss," I explained, "and he's trying to tell you that he's the boss." 'Sright, bitch. Who yo daddy? "The thing is," I continued, "Aunt Amanda is Cooper's boss, and since he's just a puppy, he doesn't always remember that." And no amount of humping is going to change the fact that Amanda is, indeed, the boss. I have the same problem Cooper, old boy. I keep telling myself that I wear the pants in this family, but she won't be seen in public with me if I'm wearing them. Curses. 7:41 a.m. - July 30, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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