jynxed's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Adventures in Big Bear: Part II So, As we neared Big Bear, winding up the mountain on a serpentine highway designed to induce motion sickness in astronauts with stomachs lined in lead, a little bastard of a black pickup came soaring up the road behind me and parked itself right on my bumper. I hate that. I slammed on the brake. The idiot driving the pickup swallowed his toothpick in surprise and swerved to avoid ramming the back of the The Hand of Genocide. A gas truck, driven by the security guard who towed my car, came barrelling down the mountain, directly into the path of the pickup. The two vehicles smashed head-on in a fiery blast that would give a pyromaniac a steel erection. I snickered, and pulled over. I opened the glove compartment and pulled out of bag of marshmallows... Glancing in the mirror nervously, I maintained my speed and muttered some choice curse words under my breath. I saw a sign up ahead for a turnout--"Slower vehicles use turnouts!"--and waited patiently for it. I turned a corner and there it was. I pulled into it and maintained my speed. It was about a block long. The idiot in the pickup didn't shoot past like I thought he would. In fact, he was merely crawling past me. I guess his truck had the power to maintain a high speed uphill, but it couldn't muster the horses to pass. Amanda looked over at him and said he was panicking--he kept glancing over at me, knowing that I wasn't slowing down and had about 3 seconds left before I needed to get back over. Heh. Good. Let the little worm sweat a little. With about 20 feet left, I slammed on my brakes and pulled back onto the main road behind the pickup. Asshole. He whipped around the next car too, then got stuck in a line of cars about half a mile ahead of me. All that shit for a lousy half mile. You freaking eediot. Then, all of a sudden, everyone slammed on their brakes. We came to a stop, then creeped along around a corner. "What the hell?" I muttered. Then we saw the problem: a VW van was pulled off to the right of the road and several other cars were pulled over on the left. People were standing in the road and running from one side to the other. "Is it a bear or something?" Amanda asked. "I don't know...probably." Then we saw a bunch of smoke billow out from the van's hood. Something on fire dropped onto the road beneath it. "Oh shit," I said...eloquent, as always. There were already a dozen cars parked around all trying to figure out what to do, so there was really no point stopping. I carefully drove by, along with most of the other cars. A few miles later, a fire engine passed us heading down the mountain. I hope everybody was okay. We met Amanda's parents at a grocery store in Big Bear City. It was getting late, but we decided to drop our stuff off at the cabin and all go to dinner together. Amanda's brother, Ryan, got in with us, and we followed her parents to the cabin. The cabin looked nice on the outside. It looked much better with my fine set o' wheels out front, but it looked pleasant enough when we drove up. Then we went inside. It's not that the cabin was BAD...but the closest thing I can think of to describe it would be to say "The Brady Bunch meets Deliverance." The carpet was orange and black, everything was really old, and it was moderately frightening. "Daddy, Bobby won't stop playing with himself in the bathroom." "Now, now, Marsha. I'll take care of this. Bobby?" "Yeah?" "We've been through this before, haven't we?" "Yeah dad, I know." "You know what this means, don't you Bobby?" "Oh please, daddy. Not that!" "Sorry Bobby. Alice!" "Yes Mr. Brady?" "It's time to make Bobby squeal like a pig." "Oh goody, Mr. Brady!" We dumped our stuff in the bedroom and hopped into Amanda's dad's Explorer to find a place for dinner. [[ To be continued... ]] 4:12 p.m. - July 10, 2001 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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